Today I feel weary!  There is a heavy weight balancing itself on my chest, what feels like a bag of coal or rocks pressing down on my forehead and my bones feel bendy and spongy.  You don’t want to be me today. 

So I am asking myself why I feel like this.  It happens sometimes. It’s no big deal.  But it always takes me by surprise and I wonder why I am such a wimp.

Then, reading my journal I came across the following quotation.
“Suffering in the desert of life can only be borne and survived by entering into the oasis of memories within; by waiting patiently in meditation and hope; gathering strength to go on; by living from that place of power.”  (Sacred way of the desert by Marylyn Brown)

In reading my journal, I realised that I was entering into the ‘oasis of memories’.  I was reading what I had written last month, last week, the day before yesterday, when the energy was up and the spirit was flowing!  I can only dream of that happening today!  But it was good to read from the oasis of memories.  

Remember when you held a precious word or phrase from God and it brought a lightness to your spirit?  Or the day you saw a flower, or a sunset and felt the touch of the Creator embracing you?  Or maybe it was just a bubbling up of the spirit of God in your heart and you felt His limitless love drawing you to the horzons. 

We all have this oasis of memories.  Find one.  Right now.  And treasure it, relive it, hold it and bask in it.  That memory is God’s gift to you now. 

I remember the thrill of the prayers at the Church Without Walls event at Ingliston on Saturday.  The tenderness of a Christening I attended on Sunday.  A moment of stillness sitting in the garden yesterday while waiting for the family to arrive with all their noise and laughter.  So much.  Love.  Contentment.  Awakening.  Rest.  

Remembering all that, now I realise why I have no energy today.  It has been a busy few days.  And so I will follow the next part of the quotation.  I will wait patiently, gather strength and go on living from the place of power.

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