I don’t remember when I last had such a tiring weekend. There was so much and everything needed done immediately. I was constantly juggling and chasing my tail. Demands were flying at me thick and fast. I couldn’t understand what was required half the time. I was translating and second-guessing and pulling ideas out of the air. The schedule was tight and I never seemed to have the necessary information when I needed it.
This had been my one chance. My opportunity to shine, to prove that after all the years of training, I could do this job. Not just adequately, but brilliantly. I wanted it all to look effortless! For people to marvel and say, “I just don’t know how you do it!” or “Isn’t she wonderful!”
And now, on Sunday night, I am a wreck. Exhausted. Stressed out. A failure. And I agree with the Psalmist who said,
“Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God and yet again I will praise Him!” (From the book of Psalms no 42;11)
And I WILL praise Him again – once I have recovered, once the energy begins to flow again. Even if the weekend was not the brilliant success I expected it to be. Even if it has now been proved that I am no longer the epitome of efficiency that I once thought myself to be. Even if I seem to be past it forever. Even if…………..yet still, I WILL praise Him again. Hurrah and halleluiah!
Oh……….and you may be wondering what I was doing at the weekend. I was looking after my two lovely, very special grandchildren for two nights! Skye is four and Aidan is ten months. Peter and I toiled long and hard, almost passed out from sheer exhaustion on Saturday afternoon while waiting for the seals to be fed in St Andrew’s Aquarium. But we made it.
And, you know, thirty years ago we thought we weren’t going to have any children. So this weekend was living proof of the good things that God gives us. Yes, we are old and past our best but we absolutely love having our two gorgeous wee ones. So, like the Psalmist………sad, troubled, exhausted? Who cares?! We will yet again praise God, and be thankful for all our gifts!
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