Such a lot has happened since my last post. We have had a wee holiday, run another Linne Bheag Saturday, and run around the country spending time with people. Sometimes it was work and sometimes relaxation. But since we both seem to work with such nice people it is always – well, almost always! – a real pleasure.
We had a great day last Saturday leading a day on “The Changing Seasons of Life”. We were to have had a ‘full house’ but unfortunately a few people had to cancel at the last minute so there were only nine of us in all.
Although almost none of us knew each other beforehand, we found kindred spirits and realised we were all facing or had faced quite disruptive transitions in our lives. I loved preparing for that day. I knew a lot about transition and change. Don’t we all?! But the discipline of getting it down on paper ready to share it with others was energising as I began to piece together certain transitions of my own and see them in a wider context.
The big lesson for us all on that day was that,
Through loyalty to the past, our mind refuses to realise that tomorrow’s joy is possible only if today’s makes way for it; that each wave owes the beauty of its line only to the withdrawal of the receding one. (Andre Gide)
And, let’s face it, we would never willingly allow today’s joys to pass if we weren’t forced into it. Change forces us into transition and transition leads us into some kind of transformation. We grow up. We grow strong. We grow into ourselves. We grow into completeness in God. We become happy. But we can’t become happy (or any of these other things) without letting go of part of today and yesterday. We grow into tomorrow.
Walking around the harbour at lunchtime helped. I just love living here. Five minutes watching the waves pounding on to the shore is worth more than five hefty tombs of the best literature you can find. (Unless you are a FIVE on the Enneagram, of course!)
I leave you with another quote. This time from Carl Jung of whom I am a devotee.
He believed that some people didn’t allow the changes of life to lead them into transition and therefore never actually progressed much on their life journey. If this happened, he says, they become,
“…….hypochondriacs, niggards, doctrinaires, applauders of the past or eternal adolescents – all lamentable substitutes for the illumination of self.”
So beware, all those who cling on to the sinking ship in the hope that they can return to yesterday! The only way is forward >>>>>>>>>>>>> !
Understanding the depths of our own complicated behaviour is one of the hardest things to master.
It was fourteen years ago that I first made the attempt. I had ignored my inner depths all my life and had been quite content to hide behind a series of elaborate masks, hiding the real me (whatever that was) and operating at a very surface level. I suppose it was all I could handle at that time and it seemed to serve the purpose.
Then life changed. We moved house, changed jobs, lived in the country, had teenagers go off to Uni........ a series of losses that left me shaky and insecure, no longer able to understand what life was all about. All the certainties had gone. The ground had slid from under my feet. I was lost.
Five years later I also had to accept that I was depressed, a fact that my doctor had been trying to convince me of for a long time.
It was during that time that I discovered the Enneagram. I didn't like it because it was forcing me to look right into my soul and I was scared. But within a few days of taking its wisdom on board, I began to notice a difference in my attitude to myself. The biggest thing was the discovery that if God had specially created each of his people, then I must be a real person, not the fake or the non-person that I felt myself to be. He doesn't make mistakes and he doesn't waste his time creating rubbish. So he must have made me exactly as he did make me. And there must be something good in me.
The other realisation was the passage in Psalm 139 in the Old Testament where the Psalmist talks about how God created us in the womb. Before our families came to love or hate us, before anyone tried to shape us and mould us, before even our mothers had the chance to love us, God saw us. I picture his presence in the womb with me as a tiny embryo, stoking my tiny forehead and saying, "Dorothy, I am creating you. You will be a lovely person though you might have a bit of trouble believing it for a time. But never forget that you are mine. And I love you because I made you and I love you because.....well, just because! I don't need a reason!"
So if God can love me like that, then how dare I hate myself so much? That was the start of growing into wholeness for me. It took years. In fact, the process will last as long as I do. But we have to start somewhere.
If you resonate with any of what I have just written, I would love to introduce you to the Enneagram. It is not the gospel. But it certainly can be used by God to introduce you to a wholeness that he dreams of us having.
"Science is finding out God's thoughts after him."
somebody once said. I feel like that about the Enneagram. It is a tool to find out more about the lovely person God had in mind when He created you. Give it a try. Come to see yourself and the one who created you in a whole new light.
The picture at the top of this post signifies the kind of Enneagram session you will have with me!
Yes, it's true. I am a very old person who can remember the Queen's coronation, post war rationing, horses pulling the baker's cart and the tarmac melting on hot summers' days. I am sixty!
I feel it can't be true. But my husband and lovely daughters put up banners, produced champagne, forced me to eat high calorie cake (with apologies to my Scottish Slimmers adviser!) and told me that it was indeed true and thought I might like to start acting my age for a wee change.
So I now have to anticipate all sorts of goodies. The bus pass. The pension book. The winter fuel allowance. So it's not all bad, then!
One of my cards said,
"With age comes wisdom........well, usually!"
Let's wait and see, shall we??!!
This story came to me from Iain Archibald of Business Matters. I wish I could attribute it to its original author but he/she is unknown (to me, at least). It is so good I want to share it with you all.
Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programmes such as Football 5.0 and Cricket 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Desperate!
Dear Desperate
First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command:
C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember: overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.
Whatever you do, DO NOT instal Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstal another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great programme, but it does have a limited memory and cannot run a new application quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 9.0.
Good Luck.
Tech Support
I love it! And I tell it because:
1. I have three sons-in-law, one of whom is coming to see me today,
2. I have a VERY important birthday with a zero on the end coming up very, very soon, and because,
3. I have a husband!
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